Planet Olin

I went back and forth on whether to come out to my hosts as trans beforehand but ultimately I decided not to for various reasons. I always feel like the human element of being trans comes across better in person or after one has interacted with someone for a while without knowing they’re trans. I was also worried that over email people would just write me off without giving me a chance if they didn’t understand it right away or if they hadn’t heard of it before. In addition, I didn’t know how I would handle coming out to my fellow WWOOFers and the idea of coming out to each and every person and then having to repeat this cycle every few days was very unpleasant. Below I’ve summarized some of the pros and cons that I feel so far.

Things I miss:

1. Being able to talk about things freely and skip in and out of stories about my past without worrying about censoring parts
2. Walking around in my underwear or without being bound
3. Not worrying about being “discovered”
4. Acknowledgment of my experiences as a female
5. The sense of fulfillment that comes with feeling as if I’m teaching people important lessons about gender just by being a living example

Things I don’t miss:

1. Overly personal questions
2. Mispronouning, or the fear thereof
3. Worrying about being a guy with an asterisk
4. Having to be the sole representative for the trans (and often glbt at large) community
5. Frequent references to my past
6. Lack of acknowledgement about my experiences as a guy

In ideal conditions, I definitely prefer being out. I feel most at ease when I’m confident that people understand and see me as a guy but also acknowledge and appreciate my past. I’ve been lucky to have groups of friends that fall into this category back home. Even here, when I was “discovered” the other day by one of my fellow WWOOFers (I really haven’t been that discreet with things that I’ve said and she put 2+2 together) it was totally fine and she hasn’t brought it up since or told anyone else. So I don’t know, I leave this vineyard now in a couple days so maybe I’ll try being out at my next place and seeing how that goes. It hasn’t always been fun or easy being stealth here but it’s definitely been an interesting experience that’s caused me to reflect on some things so I don’t think I regret it either.

It's been a while since I posted, which means that things, in general, are going very well. I've moved up to Boston, and am working for Bluefin Robotics as an Electrical Engineer. I'm learning a very different set of skills in this position that focus more on system level engineering. I definitely like working in a smaller company and the fact that I am working on underwater robots is pretty exciting. I am still very set on studying power electronics and/or alternate energy sources, and am currently working on applications for graduate school.

Here are some highlights from the last couple months:

• When to a few lectures and final presentations for the International Development Design Summit (IDDS) at MIT (put on by MIT and Olin College). There were some really interesting design problems and creative solutions that really got me excited about research, especially in alternate energy sources.
• I'm taking unofficial Korean classes at MIT taught by Korean students at MIT. It's great to have a structured class again to learn about grammar and sentence structure. We also get to watch movies/dramas in class. ^^
  
• Ran the 5k for Race for the Cure in Boston as part of the Olin College team. My time was 27:47, which was not amazing, but not bad for not being completely in shape. Really, it was just great to see Olin people and other Alumni. :)
• My brother got married at the beginning of September and I was a bridesmaid! They currently live in San Jose, but had the wedding in Marquette, MI (where they met and large portions of both families live). It was a really fun wedding and it was great to see my extended family on both sides. My brother and his wife are a great pair (they are both gamers) and I know things will work out well for them. Here are some pictures from the wedding.

12 people.

7 hours.

2 acres.

5000 lbs of grapes.

400 cases of wine.

Today, I picked enough grapes to fit into a small sized sedan. We’ve still got 40 acres to go. Harvest has begun.

not to go buy an Aspire One right now.

Summer 2009
I could work at Brandon Shores, a coal power plant in Pasadena about 3 miles from my parents' new house. The point of this would be to gain more hands-on experience in the power industry (which I think is really interesting) and make money to finance my future adventures. This is dependent on my finding out what exactly I would be doing at the power plant and ensuring that it will actually be interesting. I would also have the benefit of not having to pay for rent/food since I would be living at my parents' new house and I could still hang out in Baltimore a bunch.

Summer 2010
I will have graduated college so I want to wander around and do fun stuff for a while. I want to do an internship at Piedmont Biofuels in Pittsboro, NC to learn more about alternative energy type stuff. There is free housing and I'll basically be paid enough to afford organic food. I also want to go to a bunch of folk festivals - namely Mariposa, Michfest, and of course the Philly Folk Fest.

September 2010 - January 2011
Then I want to do an internship at the Solar Living Institute in Hopland, CA to learn about more alternative energy type stuff. It's unpaid, but I would live on-site and get more free organic produce.

February 2011 - June 2012
I don't really know. I mostly have to make sure I'm home for Kelly's College Graduation. I might work at Woods Hole or move to San Francisco or who knows . . .

A Year or Two Later
Sail around the world with my mom. We might write a book or something . . . just to have something to do.

http://blog.zivity.com/2008/08/13/the-zivity-challenge/

 

“The Zivity Challenge invites college students and alumi photographers and models to collaborate and produce high-quality photo sets that showcase women feeling beautiful and empowered.”

 

Zivity is this Web 2.0 Porn site that emphasizes empowering women.

Today I went up to the national park that's in the northern part of Seoul, to see the mountains. I saw three other white people the entire time, and nothing was in English. It's not as if I see much English when I'm out and about anyways, but this was quite surprising. I tried to walk up to the top of one of the mountains, but I got about 95% of the way up and decided it was too steep to keep going.

There was also about half the population of Seoul on the mountain with me. Hiking with so many other people is…stressful. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, living in a place where people will walk into my shoulders instead of moving just a few inches to the side. The people on the trail didn’t yield to anyone, either going uphill or down, and one girl followed me so closely she kicked my feet when she slipped! But I did meet a nice family, and walked with them for a while. They only brought one bottle of water for three people (and it was 90 today), so I gave them one of the bottles I was carrying.

Wellesley doesn't need any models. :(

So it appears that a majority of my posts have been compromised and either outright erased or filled with spam links. More than likely, it’s because I’ve been using an outdated version of Wordpress (2.0.1) and I didn’t pay attention enough to see whether or not there were security loopholes.

Also, since I’ve been running several other sites, this blog really hasn’t been given its fair share of attention over the last couple years. So as of right now, this site is going on hold until further notice.

If you’re looking for more info about me and my work, I suggest you check out my business’ website, TostieProductions.com and the sites for my movies, “Under the Boardwalk” – A Monopoly Documentary and Yellow Lights.

Thanks for visiting.

~~Kevin